Holistic Child Psychologist | Better Behavior Naturally

Dr. Nicole Beurkens

A New Approach to
Children’s Mental Health

Psychologist, Nutritionist,
Educator, Mom

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Top 10 Nutrients to Support Your Child’s Brain & Behavior – Foods and Supplements to Support Attention, Anxiety, Mood, Learning, & Behavior

“ For 25 years I’ve been teaching parents to trust themselves, focus on one step at
a time, and never give up hope that they and their child can change for the better.
A child’s symptoms, diagnoses, and challenges are not their destiny. With the
right foundations in place every child and family can thrive.”

- Dr. Nicole Beurkens

podcast

The Better
Behavior Show

podcast

Reducing Sugar in Your Family’s Diet: Tips, Swaps & Products

As we emerge from sugar season, I thought this would be a great time to revisit a very popular episode I did with Dr. Natasha Beck, lovingly known as Dr. Organic Mommy. With obesity skyrocketing in kids and adults, what are some simple swaps and better food choices we can make to improve our physical and mental health? There are loads of meal suggestions and cleaner packaged food options for kids that Dr. Beck shares in this one!

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Free guide

Top 10 Nutrients for Your Child's Brain and Behavior

This guide covers the most important foods and supplements you can use to support attention, anxiety, mood, learning, and behavior for your children (and you). You’ll learn why these nutrients are important, foods that contain them, symptoms that research shows may be connected, and get access to my favorite supplement options. Nutrient status makes a big difference for kids, so get the guide and put it to use now!

social media

Stay Connected

Follow me on social media for your daily dose of information and inspiration. I post the strategies and support you need – along with some humor and fun. You’ll also get the first look at things I’m thinking about and loving right now.

book

Life Will Get Better

Simple Solutions for Parents of Children with Attention,
Anxiety, Mood and Behavior Challenges

Finally understand what’s contributing to your child’s challenges
Learn tools and strategies you can incorporate into your daily life
Solutions that are research-based and based on real-life experience
Start making changes and seeing results right away

Workshops

Learn with
Dr. Nicole’s Workshops

My workshops dive deep into the specific issues parents and professionals face with kids who have neurodevelopmental and/or mental health conditions. Each one focuses on new ways of understanding what’s contributing to the symptoms and issues, and provides specific tools and strategies you can begin implementing immediately.

Topics include nutrition for better brain function and behavior, managing screen time, digging deeper to identify what’s causing or contributing to your child’s symptoms, supporting kids with autism and related disorders, integrative health strategies for educators and therapist, and more.

favorites

Check Out My Favorite Resources, Products,
and Services

I’ve seen and tried so many things over the years, and am saving you time and money by putting my favorites all in one place. You can learn about my favorite protein-rich snacks, the books I use and recommend, the best places to shop for healthy convenience foods online, my tried-and-true toys and games for kids of all ages, and more. I add to this list as I have new favorite items, so check back regularly!

Clinic

Horizons Developmental Resource Center

My clinic, located in Grand Rapids, Michigan, specializes in evaluation, treatment, and consultation for children and young adults. We work with patients and families throughout the US and abroad. Depending on the services required, telehealth may be available. Virtual consultation is available for any parent regardless of location. My team of clinicians specializes in a variety of diagnoses, symptoms, and needs. Let us know what support you’re looking for, and we will be happy to help you directly or get you pointed in the right direction.

drnicolebeurkens

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Jan 19

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You need to be willing to go against the grain on some things if you want to optimally support your child’s brain function and behavior. 💥⁣
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Attention and focus are high level cognitive skills that require foundations of solid nutrient status, physical movement, brain-body integration, sensory integration, and efficient information processing.⁣
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How do we support the development of those foundations? Through providing inputs that strengthen each of those areas. ⁣
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That includes things like:⁣
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-Avoiding overuse of screens, and giving kids plenty of opportunities to be aware of and focus on the world around them (especially when it’s “boring”).⁣
-Reducing constant stimulation with more activities, toys, games, etc. This allows them to focus more intently and deeply on fewer things, and to use their brain in more ways. ⁣
-Walking without the distraction of devices helps hone attention and processing circuits in the brain, and strengthens the brain-body connection.⁣
-Consuming animal meat is one of the most efficient and effective ways to support solid nutrient status for growing children, including a full complement of vitamins, minerals, protein/amino acids, and fats the brain needs to grow and function.⁣
-Drinking more water supports hydration, which is critical for brain development and function.⁣
-Moving the body while doing cognitive activities supports better processing, and strengthens the ability to focus and attend. Sitting still at a desk is not it!⁣
-Getting rid of things that don’t really matter (like homework) allows for more time to be spent on activities that do provide significant benefit.⁣
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Do these things sound “extreme” or trigger uncomfortable feelings? That’s likely the case because they run counterculture to the way most of our society thinks and operates when it comes to children. If you want to help your child be as healthy as possible, mentally and physically, in today’s world, then you need to practice getting comfortable with doing some things outside the norm.⁣
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Leave a “YES!” if you agree, and share with others who can benefit.

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Jan 16

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Psychiatric medication, especially for children, is a sensitive and tricky topic.⁣
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People ask me whether these meds are “good or bad”, and whether I’m “for or against” them. These aren’t the right questions. Undoubtedly these drugs can provide some benefit, to some children, some of the time. It’s also the case that they can cause increased problems and harm to some children. Even those who initially seem helped by medication can end up having problematic side effects the longer they take them. ⁣
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It’s a complicated issue that requires nuance, thoughtful decision making, and ongoing monitoring. Unfortunately, that’s not how the prescribing of these meds generally works. Parents and children typically aren’t told about the problems that can occur, aren’t aware of what they should be watching for, and are left unsupported when challenges do arise. ⁣
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It is my strong position, after 25 years of working with children and families, that these drugs are widely over-prescribed. I often see kids who have been given prescriptions as a first-line treatment for symptoms, without any investigation of what’s actually going on. When the first med doesn’t work, they’re given another one; sometimes ending up on a cocktail of drugs that leaves them functioning worse than ever. ⁣
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This is inappropriate, unnecessary, and can be dangerous. ⁣
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I often tell parents that I’m not invested in the specific decisions they make about medication (or any other treatment) for their child. I am very invested in them giving informed consent; making decisions based on having all the information necessary to determine what the believe is best.⁣
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My podcast episode this week is with Lynn Cunningham, co-director/producer of the documentary “Medicating Normal” @medicatingnormal . We’re shining a light on the parts of the psychiatric drug story that are often hidden, so you can make the best decisions for yourselves and your children. ⁣
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🎧You can listen to the full episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if this information is helpful to you, and share with others who can benefit.

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Jan 9

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It’s really tough to keep your nervous system regulated when the environment around you is overwhelming and stressful! 🤯⁣
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One of the key things that supports better emotional and behavioral regulation for kids and adults is our physical environment. ⁣
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Spaces that feel overwhelming, chaotic, and cramped reduce our sense of felt safety, and increase stress and anxiety. Not to mention is sets us up for power struggles with kids around putting things away, keeping things clean, etc.⁣
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There are a lot of things we can’t control when it comes to our children and their behavior. One of the things we absolutely can control is the physical environment we live in. This is a great foundational way to support and improve regulation for the entire family.⁣
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The start of a new year is a popular for tackling cleaning and organizing projects around the house. It’s a great time to go room-by-room and intentionally create the living environment that feels best for you and your kids. ⁣
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This can sound simple and you might feel motivated to do it, but can quickly feel overwhelming. That’s why I invited mom and decluttering expert Allie Casazza @allie_thatsme on the podcast to talk with us about how to create an intentional living environment and life, why it’s so important, and how to actually implement it. You’ll love the insights and practical tips she shares in this episode. I’ve already started using many of them myself!⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the entire episode at the link in my bio, or by searching for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player. ⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you agree that the physical environment plays a role in regulation, and share with others who can benefit!⁣

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Dec 9

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Two Dr. Nicole’s are better than one!⁣
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If you follow me here, you know I’m passionate about changing the conversation around mental health, behavior, family wellness, and parenting. ⁣
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What I’ve learned in 25 years of working with struggling children, adults, parents, and families is that we must go way beyond the old model of symptom-based diagnoses and cookie-cutter treatment approaches if we want to help people heal, grow, and become better versions of themselves. ⁣
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I’m convinced there is no more effective parenting strategy than a willingness to do the work of becoming more conscious to our own unresolved needs, relational history, nervous system regulation, and emotional wellness. When we do that, we not only change ourselves for the better-we provide opportunities for positive change and growth in our children as well. ⁣
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It can be lonely at times being on this mission in the field of mental health, where these ideas are still largely considered “outside the box”. That’s why I value relationships with others on the same path of changing this conversation.⁣
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One of those people in my life is my dear friend and colleague Dr. Nicole LePera, who you probably know as @the.holistic.psychologist . Whenever we get together there is no shortage of things to talk about around our work! On this week’s podcast episode you’ll get to listen in on one of our recent conversations, and I know it will be helpful to you. ⁣
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It's not every day you get to spend some time with two Dr. Nicole’s specializing in holistic psychology and committed to changing the world through expanding human consciousness one empowered person at a time. What could be better than that?!⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the full episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show.⁣
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Also – make sure to grab a copy of her new workbook “How to Meet Yourself”, which is available now everywhere books are sold. It provides a roadmap to move ourselves forward on this path of better self-understanding.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you’re with us on this mission to change how we understand and approach mental health, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

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Dec 7

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The foundations needed for a more consistent positive mood are not complicated.⁣
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Most of these are relatively quick and simple to do.⁣
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They all have research support for improving mood and overall feelings of wellbeing.⁣
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While some children and adults require additional things to support consistent positive mood, the things on this list still form the foundation.⁣
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Your child won’t do any of these? Then you focus on doing them for yourself. Watch what happens with your child as a result of you doing these things.⁣
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I’m heading out for a walk in the sunshine. What are you going to do?⁣
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Leave a “YES” if you’re up for one or more of these today, and share with others who can benefit!

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Dec 3

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Every stage of parenting has its challenges, but raising teens can feel like an entirely different world sometimes.⁣
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I get tons of questions and concerns from you all about kids in the tween and teen years. There are so many parts of this developmental phase that feel tricky to us and to them. ⁣
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It can be tough to know when to intervene and support, and when to back off. Many days it feels like you’re wrong no matter what you do. ⁣
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Even though it may seem like they’re pushing us away a lot of the time, kids in this stage of development still need our support, guidance, and connection. We need to figure out how to stay connected to them consistently during a time when neither of us may feel like that’s easy.⁣
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🎧 In my podcast conversation this week with therapist Kirsten Cobabe @kirstencobabe we explore what makes kids at this age tick, the ways we misunderstand what’s happening for our teens (even when we have the best intentions), how we can best connect and communicate with them, and more. Kirsten is known as the “teen whisperer” and I know you’ll gain a lot from this episode!⁣ You can listen to the entire episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player.
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Leave a ❤️ if this resonates, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

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Nov 30

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One of the toughest things to do as a parent is to stay calm when our kids are not. 🤯⁣
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You know it’s important to keep yourself together when your child is losing it. You know that co-regulation helps kids learn to manage big feelings. You’ve noticed that how you manage your own emotions and behaviors makes a difference.l for your child.⁣
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But the big question is “HOW do I keep myself calm and my nervous system regulated when my child is melting down, yelling, refusing, and doing any of the other 5,000 things they sometimes do when they’ve reached their limit of handling uncomfortable feelings??”⁣
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Great question!⁣
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Here are 5 simple and effective tools for you to try:⁣
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Deep Breaths – The way we breathe impacts our nervous system. Slow, deep, nasal breathing brings calm. Box breathing is breathing through the nose for a slow count of 4, hold for 2, breath out through the nose for a count of 4, and hold for 2. Alternate nostril breathing is taking slow breaths through one nostril and then the other in an alternating pattern. ⁣
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Mantras – Having a set phrase or idea you repeat to in challenging moments helps us stay grounded in the moment, and reminds us of the inherent goodness in us and our kids. Use one that resonates most with you.⁣
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Counting Backwards – This is a distraction tool that keeps us from mentally traveling into a future story where nothing good happens. Counting backwards by 3’s provides a slight mental challenge, which doesn’t allow for the catastrophizing thoughts.⁣
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Massage – Deep touch is relaxing, and you can put it to work for you in these tough situations. Firm repetitive pressure to your own hand, arm/shoulder, or neck provides soothing input to your body and helps regulate your nervous system.⁣
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Cold Water – A vagus nerve reset can be just the ticket when we’re feeling overwhelmed. Cold water stimulates the vagus nerve, which helps us get out of an activated state, and into a more calm state. Run cold water over your hands or splash it on your face, hold an ice pack on your arm or neck, drink cold water, or suck on an ice cube.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if these are helpful to you, and share with others who can benefit! ⁣

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Nov 28

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Lots of us are focused on holiday shopping this time of year. 🎁⁣
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But along with all the toys, games, books, clothes, electronics, and whatever else…let’s make sure improved health and wellness are on the list for everyone!⁣
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Perhaps the best gift you can give yourself and the children in your lives is the gift of better nutrient status, less stress, and improved sleep. Not only do these things make parenting easier, but they improve behavior, mental health, learning, development, and everything else – regardless of what challenges you and your kids are facing.⁣
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Don’t over-complicate it and tell yourself that these things are too hard, take too much time, or that your child won’t cooperate. Start where you can with what you can. We can all take some basic small steps to improve our health and wellbeing, starting now.⁣
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To make it even easier, I’ve rounded up a few of my favorite health supportive kid-and-parent-friendly items that are on sale right now for Cyber Monday.⁣
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Check out my stories to get my recommendations and take advantage of the deals!⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you agree that health and wellness are the best gifts we can give ourselves and our children!

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Nov 18

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It’s possible for “peaceful” and “discipline” to co-exist as we parent our children.⁣
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Not only is it possible, it’s important and beneficial for everyone involved.⁣
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Before we had a good understanding of child development, neuroscience, and the impact of relationships on both, the approach parents used to discipline kids was primarily based in punishment and control.⁣
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Now that we have a better understanding of how brains develop, how children develop emotional and behavioral regulation, and how we can guide this process, it’s time to upgrade our understanding and strategies around discipline and kids.⁣
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Discipline is about teaching, guiding, and modeling – not control, compliance, and punishment.⁣
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We need to retire the old outdated approaches such as spanking, threats, physical control, arbitrary consequences, “because I said so”. etc. ⁣
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Instead, we can usher in a new realm of strategies focused on strengthening relational connections, listening, empathizing, setting and enforcing boundaries, and problem solving.⁣
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Good News: You don’t need the outdated relationship-damaging approaches to raise kids who become hard working, socially appropriate, self-managing, independent adults. You can accomplish those things in a more peaceful, effective, and efficient way!⁣
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That’s the topic of my conversation with parenting specialist Sarah R. Moore @dandelionseedspositiveliving on the podcast this week. We explore the origins of standard disciplinary approaches, why they aren’t very effective, and what we can do instead. She shares her own personal story around peaceful discipline with her child and the many families she’s supported over the years. You’ll gain a perspective shift and practical tools that will benefit you and your children right away, and for the years to come.⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the entire episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you’re committed to more peaceful discipline, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

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Nov 15

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A friend reminded me of this quote recently, and I’ve been pondering it since.⁣
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We really dislike uncomfortable feelings, in any form. Perhaps the most uncomfortable feeling of all is the feeling of uncertainty (which is the root of all anxiety). This is why our default mode is to avoid uncertainty, even though we may be feeling a whole lot of other uncomfortable feelings by keeping things the same. ⁣
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The risk of change feels too great. What if we end up feeling more miserable? ⁣
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We tolerate the misery we’re currently experiencing (in our relationships, work, living situation, parenting, lifestyle habits, etc.) because it’s known. ⁣
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Our current misery is not a mystery. It’s not going to improve without risking some kind of change, but at least it isn’t uncertain and anxiety-provoking because we know exactly what to expect!⁣
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So we don’t change our parenting strategies, have the tough conversation with our partner, start the business, apply for the promotion, put the house up for sale, buy the plane ticket, set the boundary we need to…⁣
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Sticking with what we know feels like the safe and more comfortable option…until we realize that the risk of uncertainty can lead to greater comfort and joy in our lives. That venturing into the uncertain has the potential to land us in a place where we experience less misery than what we are living with now.⁣
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Where in your life are you staying stuck in the certainty of your misery because it seems more comfortable than the misery of uncertainty?⁣
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What could happen if we allowed ourselves to feel the misery of uncertainty, and risked change anyway?⁣
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How might our lives be different? ⁣
How might our children’s lives be different? ⁣
How might the world be different?⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if this gets you thinking, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

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Nov 14

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Music can work like magic to soothe and regulate a child’s nervous system, engage their brain, and support development.⁣
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Most of us enjoy listening to music, but how often do we stop to think about how it’s actually impacting us on a physical and neurological level?⁣
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Music, and more specifically rhythm, can boost our mood, calm our anxiety, support our sleep, enhance our communication, help us focus, and much more. This is true for children and adults.⁣
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When we’re intentional about incorporating music into our lives, we can support ourselves and our children in many ways.⁣
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I have always loved music (which is partly because I did classical piano training for 12 years while growing up), and it’s had a significant impact on me over the course of my life. I first got to experience the benefits of music therapy when I was teaching students with autism 25 years ago. I was lucky enough to get a piano in my classroom, and would play and sing with the kids throughout the day. We also attended formal music therapy sessions every month, and the benefits in regulation, stress reduction, communication, relationships, and more were profound. ⁣
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Whether you’ve explored the benefits of music or music therapy for your children or not, I think you’re going to love this podcast conversation with award winning recording artists and music therapist Ryan Judd @ryanjuddmusic. We talk about how music benefits the brain and development, specific ways to incorporate music into daily life for regulation support, and why you may want to pursue music therapy for your child. He shares how and why he created the @coolkoalabedtime app (a favorite I recommend often at the clinic) to help kids relax and fall asleep at night. You’ll also get to hear a beautiful original song performed by Ryan to help you and your child pause and use deep breathing for regulation. ⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the entire episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player. ⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you agree that music makes a difference, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

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Nov 7

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We’re exposed to more toxins than ever before, and it’s impacting our kids’ physical and mental health. ⁣
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Toxins are things that disrupt our internal environment, and are in the air, water, processed foods, packaging, fragrances, personal care products, and more.⁣
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Kids are especially sensitive to toxins, and these exposures can be one of the root contributors to common learning, attention, mood, anxiety, and behavior issues. We’ve known for a long time that toxins like lead can cause cognitive impairment, behavioral disorders, and other issues in kids. But we are now learning that so many substances in the environment can create the same problems to varying degrees. A build-up of exposure over time can reach a tipping point where symptoms develop – for kids and adult.⁣
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It can feel a bit scary and overwhelming to think about these things, and to take action on them. The good news is you don’t have to try to avoid every single chemical or other potentially toxic substance. But you do need to know how to take simple consistent steps to reduce the toxic burden for your children and family.⁣
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On today’s podcast episode I talk with Alexx Stuart, founder of Low Tox Life @lowtoxlife, about this important topic. She is a wealth of information on this topic and I learned a lot from our conversation (make sure to catch her explanation about why plastic food packaging is such a problem for our health). One thing I know you’ll appreciate about Alexx is her down-to-earth and doable approach to all of this.⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the entire episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player.⁣
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Leave a 🙌 if this is helpful, and share with others who can benefit.

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Nov 2

Open

“My child won’t listen to me” is by far one of the biggest complaints I hear from parents (and professionals). ⁣
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There can be many reasons for this common issue, most of which have nothing at all to do with actual listening.⁣
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Here are several reasons kids don’t “listen”:⁣
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Fatigue – Kids who are overtired tend to struggle with following through on instructions. They can be resistive, forgetful, or seem to ignore altogether. Make sure they are getting enough good quality sleep at night.⁣
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Blood Sugar Dysregulation – High, low, or up and down blood sugar impacts the brain’s ability to focus, process, and retain information. Feed kids consistently throughout the day. Prioritize nutrient dense foods and minimize added sugars.⁣
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Failing to Get Attention First – When kids’ minds aren’t with us, they can’t “listen”.This looks like saying something from the other room, not letting them know we’re about to say something, or trying to talk while they’re doing something else. Get close, pause and wait for them to shift their attention to you– THEN say it.⁣
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Lack of Processing Time – Kids need varying amounts of time to take in and make sense of communication. Tell them the thing, then pause for however long is needed, and ask them to restate.⁣
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Unclear Communication – We may think we’re being crystal clear when we tell a child to “clean up your room”, but the child may be confused about what exactly they need to do. Be clear and specific about your expectations. Use a list or other supports when needed.⁣
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Inappropriate Expectations – Sometimes kids don’t follow through because they literally can’t. We need to align expectations with current capabilities. Make sure your request is developmentally and contextually appropriate.⁣
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No Follow Up – Communicating and making sure the message was accurately received are the first steps, but following up to ensure the thing was done is also critical. Kids often get sidetracked and need support for accountability. State a clear deadline, let them know you will come back to check, tell them to let you know when they’ve finished, etc. ⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if this is helpful to you, and share with others who can benefit!⁣

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Oct 28

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Parent awareness of vaping and risks helps protect kids from this serious health concern.⁣
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Vaping is an increasingly big concern when it comes to children, teens, and young adults. Many of you have messaged me asking for information and support around this issue as you discover your kids are being exposed to vaping, or perhaps even vape themselves and have become addicted. ⁣
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The rates of smoking/nicotine use among youth had been dropping steadily for the last several decades…until e-cigarettes came on the scene several years ago. Since then, we’ve seen a steady climb in the number of kids using e-cigarettes, nicotine, and other substances.⁣
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While vaping has been touted as a “safer” version of smoking, and has been marketed to kids as “risk free” and fun, the reality is very different. We now know that vaping carries a significant amount of health risks, and leads kids on a path toward addictive behavior and substance use that can be difficult to break away from. ⁣
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My colleagues and I are seeing kids at our clinic who are experimenting with or addicted to vaping at much higher frequencies than even 2 years ago. I’ve had several teary teens in my office finally disclose their vaping habits, desperate for a solution to free themselves from an addiction they never thought could happen. ⁣
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Whether you’re already aware of this issue or not, it’s an important one to have on your radar regardless of your child’s age. Some education and awareness now may save you and your kids from a lot of struggle and heartache later.⁣
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To help us understand the issues and risks, as well as how to talk with kids about vaping, I invited Dorian Fuhrman and Meredith Berkman on the podcast this week. They are two of the co-founders of Parents Against Vaping E-cigarettes @parents_against_vaping, an education and advocacy group focused on holding companies accountable, improving regulation of these products, and educating parents and kids about the facts and risks. ⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the full episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio. ⁣
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Leave a “YES” if you’re concerned about this issue, and share with others who can benefit from this information.⁣

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Oct 27

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This is called growth, and we should desire and expect it for our kids and ourselves.⁣
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Wanting your child is improve in some areas, and focusing on work toward that end, doesn’t mean you don’t accept or love them for who they are.⁣
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I see some parents conflicted around wanting change for their child, especially if the child has a neurodevelopmental or mental health challenge. There is a lot of focus on “acceptance” lately, which is wonderful. And at the same time, we can desire and expect growth for our children in all kinds of ways. ⁣
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We can accept the uniqueness of our child, with all the strengths, challenges, and quirks that make them who they are. And we can strive to help them grow, mature, and become the best versions of themselves. ⁣
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My child is an amazing artist and loves to create things.⁣
And he needs growth in the area of tolerating small frustrations without melting down.⁣
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My child is helpful and willing to do things around the house without me asking.⁣
And she needs growth in the area of going through her morning routine independently on school days.⁣
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My child gives the best hugs and is so loving with our pets.⁣
And he needs growth in the area of not panicking every time mom or dad leaves the house.⁣
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My child loves music and singing together.⁣
And she needs growth in the area of not running away and being unsafe outside of the house.⁣
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This applies to us, too. We can accept ourselves as parents, and strive for continued improvement. Acknowledging and embracing who we are as parents, complete with all our strengths and challenges, is important. And we can strive for continued growth, maturity, and becoming the best versions of ourselves.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if this resonates, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

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Oct 25

Open

It’s that time of year where sugar is everywhere 😱⁣
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Starting with Halloween and heading through the December holidays and into the New Year…it can seem like everywhere we turn there is sugar.⁣
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If you’re concerned about your child’s blood sugar regulation, and overall physical and mental health, this can be concerning and frustrating.⁣
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We know that excessive sugar intake is not supportive of physical or mental health, including behavior. If you have a child with special dietary needs or who is especially sensitive to sugar intake, this is an even bigger stressor and issue to navigate.⁣
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The key is to find ways to allow kids to indulge, while helping to mitigate the negative effects a huge rush of sugar can have on their brain and behavior. It can be done!⁣
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I’ve put together some of my favorite tips for navigating the sugar-filled holidays (and any event throughout the year) with less power struggle and stress, while still allowing for the fun and enjoyment of sweet stuff.⁣
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A little pre-thinking and planning makes a big difference – for us and for them.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if this resonates, and share with others who can benefit.

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Oct 21

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How kids think and feel about their bodies has a major impact on their mental health.⁣
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In today’s world it’s tough to escape the almost constant images and messaging around appearance, attractiveness, fitness, etc. This impacts all of us, but tweens and teens are especially susceptible to these influences. ⁣
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It’s normal for kids to not feel good about themselves and their bodies all the time, especially during adolescence. But this can become a pattern of thoughts and feelings that negatively impacts them in every area – mood, anxiety, attention, behavioral regulation, relationships, health behaviors, and more.⁣
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One of the things that’s extra tricky about this issue for parents, is that we tend to struggle with our own body image issues as well. Even though it may not be on our conscious radar, how often do we make self-deprecating comments, compare ourselves to other people’s appearance, take steps to change how we look, etc.? Because we struggle with this ourselves, it can be tough to know how best to support kids in this area.⁣
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That’s why I was excited to have body image researcher and author Dr. Charlotte Markey on the podcast this week. She is a wealth of information about how body image issues impact kids (it’s NOT just a problem for girls), and what we can do to support them in developing a healthier body image. As the author of a book for boys and a book for girls on this topic, she shares the similarities and differences in how this impacts our kids, steps we can take to educate and support them, and when to seek out professional intervention around these issues.⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the entire episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player.⁣
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Leave a “YES” if this information is helpful to you, and share with others who can benefit.

drnicolebeurkens

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Oct 19

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The truth is that parenting scripts and strategies alone aren’t going to be much help to you or your child.⁣
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This is an important part of the parenting conversation that is typically ignored, and it leaves many parents (and kids) feeling frustrated and defeated.⁣
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You can’t expect your child, or yourself, to be emotionally and behaviorally regulated from any parenting strategy or approach if basic physiological and neurological processes aren’t also being supported. ⁣
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Emotional and behavioral regulation are bottom-up processes. You have to give the body and brain the foundations they need to function properly. ⁣
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A body and brain that aren’t getting enough of what they need won’t have a consistent positive responsive to whatever approaches you’re trying to use. ⁣
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And you’re going to struggle to consistently implement those approaches if you aren’t paying attention to these things for yourself.⁣
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That means prioritizing things like sleep, movement, nutrient dense food, breathing, and, time in nature. For yourself and for your child.⁣
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These are the foundations for healthy brain and body function.⁣
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These are the things that allow you to utilize all the great parenting strategies you’re learning about, and make it far more likely that your child will positively respond to them.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if this resonates, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

drnicolebeurkens

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Oct 14

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Lack of appropriate boundaries is at the root of most parent-child relationship breakdowns and parenting challenges.⁣
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Boundaries don’t just apply to parenting – they’re relevant in every relationship in our lives.⁣
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Boundaries have been defined several different ways, but basically a boundary is a limit you set around what you will and won’t tolerate behaviorally from another person. It lays out what is acceptable (or not) to you, and how you will respond if the boundary is crossed.⁣
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✅It doesn’t work for us when you stop over unannounced to see the kids. You’ll need to text first to see if it’s a good time for us, or we won’t be inviting you in.⁣
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✅I like having privacy in the bathroom so you’ll need to wait outside. If you aren’t able to do that on your own, I’ll lock the door.⁣
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✅I’m happy to make dinner every night of the week except Saturdays. We can go out to eat, get take-out, or someone else can prepare the meal.⁣
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Note that in each of these examples the focus is on what YOU will do – not trying to get the other person to do something. This is key, because you can’t control your child’s behavior or another adult’s behavior. All you can do is be clear about what works for you, and what you will do if the limit you set is crossed.⁣
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In my work with parents for 25 years (and as a parent myself) this is a key concept I return to time and again across all ages, stages, and challenges. That’s why I was thrilled to have my friend Melissa Urban @melissau (founder of Whole30) on the podcast this week to talk about her newest book “The Book of Boundaries”.⁣
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We talk about why boundaries are so important, what happens when we don’t use them effectively, and Melissa’s 3-step approach to setting and enforcing boundaries with anyone in our lives. She provides great examples and scripts we can all use across many different situations!⁣
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🎧 You can listen to the entire episode (or read the transcript) at the link in my bio, or search for The Better Behavior Show on your favorite podcast player.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you agree that boundaries are important, and share with others who can benefit.⁣

drnicolebeurkens

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Oct 12

Open

Want to support emotional and behavioral regulation for your child (and yourself)?⁣
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Go for a walk!⁣
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Walking is a highly regulating activity that provides many benefits. The steady pace and repetitive motion provide regulating input to the brain and body. It's a quick way to move stress and excess activating neurochemicals out of the body, so the brain can settle and relax.⁣
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Walking together is a co-regulating activity. Whether you walk alongside one another, or you hold your child's hand, adjusting your pace to match each other is inherently co-regulatory. Avoid excessive talking - let the movement and be the focus.⁣
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Walking supports blood sugar regulation.⁣
This is especially true when you walk for 10 minutes or more after eating. Walking reduces the blood sugar spikes and crashes that lead to dysregulation. ⁣
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Walking reduces stress and anxiety via peripheral eye movement.⁣
As you walk, your eyes naturally scan the environment around you - including in your periphery. Research shows this is regulating and anxiety-reducing.⁣
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Walking supports a more mindful mental state, which reduces stress and anxiety.⁣
It inherently focuses us on the present moment, which is regulating for our mind. Walking is an excellent way to build mindfulness in your child.⁣
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Walking is a non-demanding activity that promotes relational connection and communication (verbal and non-verbal), which is inherently regulating.⁣
If your child resists walking, start with walking together across the room, standing up and sitting down together, or another movement you can do together to build trust.⁣
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Walking outdoors boosts our mood, and reduce stress and anxiety.⁣
Fresh air, sunlight, and nature are highly regulating for the brain and body.⁣
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Leave a ❤️ if you plan to go for a walk today, and share with others who can benefit.

Privacy Policy

This Privacy Policy governs the manner in which Beurkens Autism Consulting, Inc. d/b/a Horizons Developmental Resource Center collects, uses, maintains and discloses information collected from users (each, a “User”) of the www.DrBeurkens.com website (“Site”). This privacy policy applies to the Site and all products and services offered by Horizons Developmental Resource Center.

Please read this Privacy Policy carefully. By visiting and using the Site, you agree that your use of our Site, and any dispute over privacy, is governed by this Privacy Policy. Because the Web is an evolving medium, we may need to change our Privacy Policy at some point in the future, in which case we’ll post the changes to this Privacy Policy on this website and update the Effective Date of the policy to reflect the date of the changes. By continuing to use the Site after we post any such changes, you accept the Privacy Policy as modified.

Personal identification information

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We may collect non-personal identification information about Users whenever they interact with our Site. Non-personal identification information may include the browser name, the type of computer and technical information about Users means of connection to our Site, such as the operating system and the Internet service providers utilized and other similar information.

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How we use collected information

Horizons Developmental Resource Center may collect and use Users personal information for the following purposes:

To improve customer service — Information you provide helps us respond to your customer service requests and support needs more efficiently.
To personalize user experience — We may use information in the aggregate to understand how our Users as a group use the services and resources provided on our Site.
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How we protect your information

We adopt appropriate data collection, storage and processing practices and security measures to protect against unauthorized access, alteration, disclosure or destruction of your personal information, username, password, transaction information and data stored on our Site.

Sensitive and private data exchange between the Site and its Users happens over a SSL secured communication channel and is encrypted and protected with digital signatures.

Sharing your personal information

We do not sell, trade, or rent Users personal identification information to others. We may share generic aggregated demographic information not linked to any personal identification information regarding visitors and users with our business partners, trusted affiliates and advertisers for the purposes outlined above.We may use third party service providers to help us operate our business and the Site or administer activities on our behalf, such as sending out newsletters or surveys. We may share your information with these third parties for those limited purposes provided that you have given us your permission.

Please keep in mind that whenever you voluntarily make your personal information available for viewing by third parties online – for example on message boards, web logs, through email, or in chat areas – that information can be seen, collected and used by others besides us. We cannot be responsible for any unauthorized third-party use of such information.

Some of our third-party advertisers and ad servers that place and present advertising on the Site also may collect information from you via cookies, web beacons or similar technologies. These third-party advertisers and ad servers may use the information they collect to help present their advertisements, to help measure and research the advertisements’ effectiveness, or for other purposes. The use and collection of your information by these third-party advertisers and ad servers is governed by the relevant third-party’s privacy policy and is not covered by our Privacy Policy. Indeed, the privacy policies of these third-party advertisers and ad servers may be different from ours. If you have any concerns about a third party’s use of cookies or web beacons or use of your information, you should visit that party’s website and review its privacy policy.

Google Analytics

We also use Google Analytics Advertiser Features to optimize our business. Advertiser features include:

Remarketing with Google Analytics
Google Display Network Impression Reporting
DoubleClick Platform integrations
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By enabling these Google Analytics Display features, we are required to notify our visitors by disclosing the use of these features and that we and third-party vendors use first-party cookies (such as the Google Analytics cookie) or other first-party identifiers, and third-party cookies (such as the DoubleClick cookie) or other third-party identifiers together to gather data about your activities on our Site. Among other uses, this allows us to contact you if you begin to fill out our check-out form but abandon it before completion with an email reminding you to complete your order. The “Remarketing” feature allows us to reach people who previously visited our Site, and match the right audience with the right advertising message.

You can opt out of Google’s use of cookies by visiting Google’s ad settings and/or you may opt out of a third-party vendor’s use of cookies by visiting the Network Advertising Initiative opt-out page.

Facebook

As advertisers on Facebook and through our Facebook page, we, (not Facebook) may collect content or information from a Facebook user and such information may be used in the same manner specified in this Privacy Policy. You consent to our collection of such information.

We abide by Facebook’s Data Use Restrictions.

Any ad data collected, received or derived from our Facebook ad (“Facebook advertising data”) is only shared with someone acting on our behalf, such as our service provider. We are responsible for ensuring that our service providers protect any Facebook advertising data or any other information obtained from us, limit our use of all of that information, and keep it confidential and secure.
We do not use Facebook advertising data for any purpose (including retargeting, commingling data across multiple advertisers’ campaigns, or allowing piggybacking or redirecting with tags), except on an aggregate and anonymous basis (unless authorized by Facebook) and only to assess the performance and effectiveness of our Facebook advertising campaigns.
We do not use Facebook advertising data, including the targeting criteria for a Facebook ad, to build, append to, edit, influence, or augment user profiles, including profiles associated with any mobile device identifier or other unique identifier that identifies any particular user, browser, computer or device.
We do not transfer any Facebook advertising data (including anonymous, aggregate, or derived data) to any ad network, ad exchange, data broker or other advertising or monetization related service.

Children’s Privacy Statement

This children’s privacy statement explains our practices with respect to the online collection and use of personal information from children under the age of thirteen, and provides important information regarding their rights under federal law with respect to such information.

This Site is not directed to children under the age of thirteen and we do NOT knowingly collect personally identifiable information from children under the age of thirteen as part of the Site. We screen users who wish to provide personal information in order to prevent users under the age of thirteen from providing such information. If we become aware that we have inadvertently received personally identifiable information from a user under the age of thirteen as part of the Site, we will delete such information from our records. If we change our practices in the future, we will obtain prior, verifiable parental consent before collecting any personally identifiable information from children under the age of thirteen as part of the Site.
Because we do not collect any personally identifiable information from children under the age of thirteen as part of the Site, we also do NOT knowingly distribute such information to third parties.
We do NOT knowingly allow children under the age of thirteen to publicly post or otherwise distribute personally identifiable contact information through the Site.
Because we do not collect any personally identifiable information from children under the age of thirteen as part of the Site, we do NOT condition the participation of a child under thirteen in the Site’s online activities on providing personally identifiable information.

Changes to this privacy policy

Horizons Developmental Resource Center has the discretion to update this privacy policy at any time. When we do, we will revise the updated date at the bottom of this page. We encourage Users to frequently check this page for any changes to stay informed about how we are helping to protect the personal information we collect. You acknowledge and agree that it is your responsibility to review this privacy policy periodically and become aware of modifications.

Your acceptance of these terms

By using this Site, you signify your acceptance of this policy. If you do not agree to this policy, please do not use our Site. Your continued use of the Site following the posting of changes to this policy will be deemed your acceptance of those changes.

Contacting us

If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, the practices of this site, or your dealings with this site, please contact us at:

Horizons Developmental Resource Center
www.DrBeurkens.com
3120 68th Street SE
Caledonia, MI 49316
616-698-0306
info(at)drbeurkens.com
This document was last updated on May 30, 2016

Dr. Nicole Beurkens

A New Approach to
Children’s Mental Health

Psychologist, Nutritionist,
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